Saddle up your Horses.....

Not gonna lie. This day has been a doozy.

 

Woke up at 4:45am to leave and have Leanna checked in at Children's Hospital by 6am. Im not a morning person. I don't even try to be anymore. They made me dump my coffee. Not cool, not cool.

 

Leanna was supposed to be under for 30 minutes, she was under for almost 90. Praise God the Dr called the front to let us know everything was fine, he just needed more time. When he was done, he took us to a corner of the waiting room to try to tell us all of his findings. He found a lot. Readers digest version? There is nothing normal about her eyes. Cataracts. small size. glaucoma. It also appears that one of her eyes quit developing at about 20 week gestation. Not sure if it is a genetic thing or if the birth Momma did something at that time to hinder development. Basically, there was a specialist telling us that he was bamboozled and wanted to send us to ANOTHER specialist to get a second opinion. I am NOT optimistic that there is anything we can do for her right eye, apart from getting glaucoma surgery to keep what vision she already has. Her left eye is completely in Gods hands. The anomaly there may or may not be effecting the optic nerve. if it is, well.....that is daunting.

The good news is that we have great specialists that are going to do whatever they can to help our lady. The other Blessing is that Leanna doesn't care one way or another. God knows the plans He has for her. My Momma hear is scared, but I need to "Let it go"....insert Elsa singing.

When we left the Hospital I got a nasty migraine. It is called no sleep+stress+meanies making me dump coffee= icky pukey migraine for the rest of the day. THEN we had an epic battle with all of our kids at least once tonight. At one point I had all 3 boys whining/crying, Leanna throwing toys, Megan being a drama mama......I totally went out front and sat on the stairs. When it rains it pours, right? Ya, we had us a downpour tonight. I happened to chat with my friend, Jamie, tonight and told her that this day was a trial and that I felt like a mean Mommy. She sent me this::

I needed this. I needed this bad.

A final little tidbit of news, Leanna will probably be starting school this next week. She was invited to be in the life skills program at the Elementary school the boys go to. Its a great school. She will have access to a lot of therapies. They are letting us choose whether she goes whole days or half. We aren't ready for full days. Heck, we aren't ready for half days. But, our little lady needs help getting caught up. And especially if we aren't going to have great vision, she needs to be strong in all other areas.

In the words of Steven Curtis Chapman:
"saddle up your horses, we gotta trail to blaze"

Prayer requests::
A miracle for Leanna, specifically that we can still fix that left eye to get her more vision.

For her school career....and for Sean and I to have peace about her not being with us 24/7.

More specialists mean more medical bills. Just prayer we have peace that God will provide, as He always does.

I would also love to have good interaction with my babies tomorrow. I think we all agreed that this wasn't our best day.

One month since "Gotcha!"

Yup, its been a month since I walked into that orphanage.  One month ago I walked back out holding my daughter. Leanna has known the love of a family for one month....and, frankly, she is completely diggin it!

So, just keepin it real....there has been some challenges. Some behaviors that girlfriend picked up in the orphanage that need to be dealt with. BUT, attachment issues??? ya, none. This girl has craved love and attention. When you pick her up, she is like holding a little koala.....arms around our neck, legs wrapped around our waist....and she is usually pulling our head towards her so that she can get some kisses. She LOVES kisses. She has also decided that she really enjoys a good back rub.....but, who doesn't??

Some have wondered how she likes having siblings. It is safe to say that she is loving having older brothers. She really likes being near the boys. Sometimes she likes plopping down on top of the boys. Megan? Well, that depends on her mood. Leanna doesn't always feel like sharing Mommy and Daddy, so it kind of irks her when we are holding sissy, when she feels like she wants to be held. Megans hair has been pulled more than once, but Megan has been a trooper....and Leanna is learning.

So, instead of writing out all of the medical updates...im gonna copy the statuses from my facebook:::::::

PEDIATRICIAN UPDATE::: He thought she was pretty cute! Everything seemed good. He laughed that she had a bit of a belly on her, otherwise skinny, body. Could tell she was enjoying her meals. We got her current on shots, she was a trooper. Also had to get blood drawn to check for anemia, HIV etc. He just wants to really know EVERYTHING.....especially since we don't have a family history. Poor baby ...didn't enjoy that part, but she stuck tough. Super stoked that he wants me to deliver a specimen to analyze for parasites (what is with my kids and needing to provide poop samples this year??? seriously grody). girlfriend was ranked "under 3rd percentile" in height and weight. She weighs a whopping 25 lbs now, which means she has gained a couple since we got her here. He asked me if she was "non-verbal." I assured him that when she has something to say, she doesn't hold back. And, sure enough, when he started poking and prodding, he got an earful of Bulgarian. We are pretty sure she wasn't being kind.

 

EYE DOCTOR REPORT:::: It was all good news. Im not going to even attempt to tell you all the technical stuff, cuz it is confusing. Bottom line, The eye doctor said she will never have 20/20 vision, but that he thinks 20/40 isn't out of the question (which means someday she can drive etc.). Her peripheral vision is great, the cataracts are in the central part of her eyes. We have an apt on the 28th... in Spokane with her ophthalmologist. If you think of the cataract as being a dirty camera lense.....the tentative plan is to get surgery to remove the dirty lense. With adults, you would then put in a new, clean lense....but Leanna isn't old enough for this. So, the plan is to remove the dirty lense, and get her glasses that will allow the brain to start communicating with her eyes. Then, when she gets a bit older, we will get the new, clean lense inserted.

 

 

DENTIST REPORT:::: No surprises there. Actually, there was one....no cavities!! I was shocked. She has completely grinded her back teeth down to almost nothing. We had figured this. She has a couple teeth that appear to have a lot of build up on them, but they are baby teeth, so this is ok. As far as her bite, again we weren't shocked. Where there is ideally 1-2 millimeters between bites, hers is ...at 10.....which means that eventually we will be looking at braces and surgery. This isn't just for cosmetic reasons, but it can cause different breathing/sleeping challenges. This surgery would probably be at around age 14. All baby teeth, and he thinks she will start losing them soon. Next report will come on Tuesday after her Pediatrician visit. fun fun fun.

Ok, im off to parent. I will try to be better at updating this blog now that we are getting into a routine. Thanks for all of the prayers, love and support. Trust me, it has been felt and appreciated!!!!

Thank you.....

I wanted to take a minute to say "Thank you"......to everyone that has supported us financially, prayerfully, emotionally.....

"Thank you" seems so insufficient for the tremendous Blessings that we have received this past year. We have had people pray for us faithfully, I have had people listen to me cry when I have been frustrated, We have had people give their time, talents and treasure....all in the name of "Leanna."

It has been such a humbling experience, but also a powerful one. It is hard to step out and ask for help. Even when it is such a worthy cause, saving a life. It is still hard.

Our family will always remember your generosity. Leanna WILL know about all of the people that loved her from the first day, and who fought along side of us to get her to her forever family.

Someday she will see all of the pictures we have collected. Yard sales, silent auctions, online auctions, a donation table at spa night, tastefully simple fundraisers, bake sales, cake pop fundraiser, desserts donated to sell for "Deva".....the list goes on. She will hear about the person that paid my cell phone bill for the last year, the dear friend who paid my way to ladies retreat, the family members who sewed adorable items to sell to help us raise money.

Blessed Hugely

So, THANK YOU ALL!!! so, so much!

A Baby Registry for my Bulgarian Baby

So further proof that I have the BEST family and Friends.....after all of the love and support over the past year+....I have had several friends ask me if I can put together a baby registry for Leanna. Each time I give them "the look" and each time they assure me that they really WANT me to do one.....so......I did. As it is kind of an unusual list, I thought I would explain a bit...

(Those who are completely uninterested should return to their normal Tuesday night viewing)

We registered for a lot of items under the "feeding" category. Leanna is a 6 year old child that is VERY underweight and was never taught to chew food. So.....that should be enough to help you understand the list of pediasure, food pouches, bibs, baby bullet...etc.

pull ups and wipes? Ya, she isn't potty trained. moving on...

TOYS--The list has a couple developmental items (leap pad), cozy coupe, little trampoline (for leg strength).....but you will notice the main theme is Duplo legos and plastic animals.
The Duplo legos are something I hope Leanna will learn to do with her sister. They would be good for sensory and problem solving....and fun to play with Megs.
The plastic animals? Well, I have a friend that just brought her blind son home from Bulgaria (he is precious!)....he LOVES plastic animals and carries them everywhere....so, she suggested that we get some for our Leanna girl.

baby gate....self explanatory.
monitor....self explanatory

tooth brush??? um....you might want an explanation. Leanna has had NO dental care. They don't brush her teeth and we anticipate having a long road ahead as far as fixing our sweet girls teeth and bite.

Something not on the list. CLOTHES! Our goal is to have a wardrobe set up for Leanna, so that sissy doesn't need to share. This is going to be a big adjustment for Megan, and sis LOVES her clothes! We didn't want to create a problem by requiring that Megan give up her things right out of the gate.
Leanna is a size 4/5
She could definitely use::
a swim suit
sweats
jeans
short sleeve shirts
footed jammies

Here is the link

https://www.walmart.com/giftregistry/gr_detail.do?registryId=80541754158

We are so, so, so grateful for all of you. The love you all have for Leanna is such a Blessing. We couldn't have made it through this journey without your love and support!!

Making some more stinkin lemonade! Yes, this post might be hostile.

We saw Leanna in January. When we left she knew us, she loved us, she didn't want us to leave.

We had faith that we MIGHT be back in April, but end of May FOR SURE!!! Well, April became May, May became June. We were 100% sure we would be getting our beauty in June. I was literally waiting for an email saying "Go get your baby!!"......well, instead of an email, I got a phone call......when I was at the Court Club getting ready to hot tub with my Bestie. NOT the news we wanted. We had travel dates (yay!)....but they were July 20-30th (sob). Yup, and sob I did. I had a little mini cry with my Bestie at the club, she prayed for me. But, when I got home I fell apart. That is another month that Leanna, our LEGAL daughter, is sitting in an orphanage. That is 4 more weeks that I have to sit here missing her. That week, the 20th-30th, is the week of my Dads Family reunion, that he has been so excited about for so long. I have been waiting to go see all of my family, that I NEVER see, and I would have my new daughter there to introduce to her Franklin peeps.

The whole thing just stinks.

In the past couple weeks we came to the hard decision that I would be traveling WITHOUT Sean on the pick-up trip. Of course people have opinions about this decision, but we know it is the right thing for a few reasons. 1.) If Sean went he would use ALL of his sick and vacation leave....meaning he couldn't be there for upcoming surgeries etc. 2.) After talking with other adopting families, it is important that only one parent is suffering jet lag upon coming home, there needs to be one parent alert and able to meet Leannas needs. (the jet lag in Jan kicked our butts). 3.) Our little Megan needs to have either Mommy or Daddy available. She has been having a lot of stress whenever we leave her (with sitters etc)....she is confused and just needs to have one of us with her.

So, what does this mean. This means that My Bestie, Jaimie, will be traveling with me. She is a great support to me, balances me out, and we are extremely comfortable with each other. So, if I need to have a melt down, or I need her to give me a break, I can ask her and know she is there for me. Initially my sissy was going to be my sidekick, but she will be attending the reunion, as our Dad NEEDS his kids there. :o)

So, there ya go! July 20-30!
one little prayer request, our flights are crazy pricey. We have one more fundraiser tomorrow, really hoping that we come up with what we need.....otherwise I might need to go sell a kidney or something.

When people just dont get it....just keep swimming.

So, if you are on our facebook page, you know that this picture is kind of my motivational quote. "Just keep swimming...."
Don't judge, you seriously need these things in your brain, on repeat, to help you keep from losing your mind. Like last week when we hear that we wont be hearing anything about court for a good week or more. I could cry. I sometimes do. Or I can "just keep swimming."
I have been reflecting on the whole process a lot lately. Some days I am reflecting on the insane amount of fundraisers I have done the last year+. Some days I reflect on the pure magic of adoption, where you take one of Gods precious children and give them a home. love. so much love. To watch over one of His "fatherless" children is an honor....not a burden...an HONOR.
Some days, I admit, I do sit here and puzzle at how some just don't see the beauty in adopting. I hear things like "WHY would you do this?" "Why would you take on a special needs child?" "Is this really fair to your other children?"......I have even had several people deny us financial help because they just don't understand. They COULD help financially, they are able. But, it just isn't important. (Hang with me here, this isn't one of THOSE posts...it is really positive.)....So, just when I start thinking "REAALLY???" ....something always happens. A stranger will donate 2k to our page, a new friend will offer a $50 matching grant, our care group will organize a massive event in Leannas honor, my friend in TEXAS will sell her things online to send us money. Where some will completely ignore, others will embrace. Others will ask us questions, lots of questions....they CRAVE information on our Roma beauty! Granted, most of these people don't feel called to adopt, but they are called to love and to acknowledge these precious children of God. Trust me, I get it. Adoption is not for the faint of Heart. Its just not. You have to fight hard, and sometimes daily, for just one paper to get approved. Unless you have won the lottery, you have to pour hours, often hours each day, to organize fundraisers. You have to go hold, kiss, hug, and adore your child....a child that you will leave in a termite infested building that is under construction. You leave her knowing that she wont understand, and that her caretakers will not help her understand, they are too busy watching their soap operas. I will say it again, this stuff isn't easy. It hurts. you cry. You get completely exhausted.....but, you know what? At the end of the journey you have this amazing, beautiful, happy, daughter. A girl who speaks in slang, and who apparently has a bit of a mouth on her (PTL we don't speak Bulgarian!)....She is a gem, and she is worth it.....and she is just as important to God as any one of us. She isn't broke. She isn't a mistake. She is a perfect gift....she is our daughter.
So, with that said, I am going to go do a yard sale tomorrow (for the millionth time), Im going to keep planning fundraisers, Im going to decorate her room, and find her the special shirts that she likes... and I am going to put together the toys that we bought her. I am going to not be bitter over insensitive comments and actions, because I know that people just don't understand. And, you know what? When everyone meets Leanna, people will get it. Trust me.
Leanna Laurie....we are so close. Mommy is coming!

Need some motivation...

I need some motivation.

Bulgaria?

How about a court date?

PLEASE!!!

NOW!!!

You give us a court date Bulgaria and I will figure out how to book the tickets for the GOTCHA trip this weekend!

Ok??




~Sean


#needmydaughterhomeNOW