Im Insane

Ok, just being real here. Anytime I sit down to do anything adoption related, this quote comes to mind. I might be doing paperwork, I might be re-doing paperwork, I might be making a payment, just to get an invoice with our next dues......I might just be asking questions to our caseworker. Then I think, hot diggity, I am INSANE. I do the same thing over, and over, and over again. I do paperwork, I fundraise, I make a payment. Then I do more paperwork, I do more fundraising, then I make another payment......you know how the rest goes. I do the "same thing over and over again." Now, I think I even expect different results. I expect to maybe one time hear "You got a grant, so the next payment is taken care of." and eventually I will hear...."You are done, go get your daughter!" But for now, im insane. Its a sad truth.
Not only am I insane, but I feel kind of needy. Not only am I needy, but I am lonely. I am needy and I am lonely for our little girl. Do you have any idea how weird it is to know who she is, and to know that we are going to be her Mama and Daddy....but, right now we cant have her. We have to leave her in an orphanage.....while we continue to repeat our insane behavior. Ick, its not a good feeling.
So, tomorrow I plan to look into a couple more grants (again), then I plan to make a game plan to figure out our next payment (again)............

Please pray for this journey to move fast....who knows how much longer I can last before I lose my mind completely....ha. ha. ha.

Oh Sweet little "D"...you are so loved and wanted!!

Love,

Your insane Mama

Resting and new ideas.

So, you may want to know if there is any news. The answer? No. The last couple weeks have been kind of a double edged sword. On one hand, incredibly stressful as we try to pull together the money for our next TWO payments. On the other hand, we have had to just totally give it over to God and not try to do it all ourselves...which has meant that I have given myself a break from adoption stress. Sean's mom came for a visit and the timing was perfect. One day, while boys were at school and megs was napping, we just put on "Everybody loves Raymond" and then both zonked out on the couch. We rested.
Don't get me wrong, little "D" is ALWAYS on my mind. Im either plotting next fundraiser, filling out grants, or just missing my girl. BUT, there has really just been nothing to do but wait, so I have been doing that....waiting. Waiting on news, waiting on grants...waiting.

So, here are some Blessings:

We sold our suburban, which will pay a huge chunk of our fees. The buyer is my father in law. He plans to use it for a business vehicle, and I am praying that it is a Blessing to his business. Thanks Daddy-in-law!!

Our auction ended!! Thanks SO much to those who supported us and bought items from our auction. We made $750!! I really had no idea how it would go. I even feared nothing would sell....but, almost every item sold and we were so Blessed.

So, now I ask. Does anyone have any amazing fundraiser ideas? Im trying to think outside the box. I heard of a shoe drive, and I am really stoked about that idea. Basically, we would collect old shoes.....that are in decent condition and can be cleaned up. Then a company pays us per pound to get the shoes and send them to Africa. I am really leaning towards doing something like that. Seriously, isn't that perfect? It helps us bring home "D" and it helps families in Africa that don't own shoes. An added perk is that it isn't something I have heard of. Most of the fundraisers I have come across are things being used by multiple families within our area.....but, maybe something new and different would be fun? Thoughts?
*****sidenote, if anyone is thinking "Why would anyone adopt if they don't have the money?? Reference the post "Opening statements"****

Enjoy your Weekend. And remember to "rest".....

Our Roma Darlin

So, as we have said before, we DO have a little sweetheart that we are planning to adopt. But, until it is set in stone (i.e. in writing....in blood...) we are hesitant to share much info. But I felt that I wanted to share one detail of our lil lady....it might help people understand, even more, why we feel such a sense of urgency to get her home to us.

She is Roma.
Roma are a subgroup of the Romani people^[1][2] (also known as "Gypsies" although this term is considered pejorative^[3]), who live primarily in Central and Eastern Europe, as well as in the Balkans and Western Anatolia, and as recent immigrants in Western Europe and the Americas. Roma is also used as a synonym for the whole Romani people.

Why do I feel inclined to share this? Well, we have heard several times that there is a stigma attached to Roma children. We also knew that they are undesirable and unwanted by many. I was kind of skeptical about the whole thing. I mean, seriously, what makes these children any different?? Then I got an email from our caseworker. I wanted to share a paragraph in that email:

It is a commonly known fact that Roma children are also discriminated against, and sometimes segregated, within school as well. Because of this, the attendance rate of Roma children in school is far less then ethnic Bulgarians (about 60% compared to 90%). Within the larger Roma communities, some “Roma schools” have developed, which as the name suggests is only attended by children of Roma descent. These schools have an inferior quality of education and lack many basic necessities to be a positive schooling environment. Bulgaria also has special schools that children with learning disabilities, health, or emotional problems attend. Many of these specialized schools act as internati (boarding schools). Unfortunately many of the Roma children are sent to these specialized schools, even if they don’t have any needs that would suggest this would be a more appropriate learning environment for them.

As Always, Please join us in praying for our sweet lil lady. She is beautiful, precious, made by God.....Perfect. Whether the world sees her that way or not...she is Perfect.

Trusting God Always,
The Mama