Don't judge, you seriously need these things in your brain, on repeat, to help you keep from losing your mind. Like last week when we hear that we wont be hearing anything about court for a good week or more. I could cry. I sometimes do. Or I can "just keep swimming."
I have been reflecting on the whole process a lot lately. Some days I am reflecting on the insane amount of fundraisers I have done the last year+. Some days I reflect on the pure magic of adoption, where you take one of Gods precious children and give them a home. love. so much love. To watch over one of His "fatherless" children is an honor....not a burden...an HONOR.
Some days, I admit, I do sit here and puzzle at how some just don't see the beauty in adopting. I hear things like "WHY would you do this?" "Why would you take on a special needs child?" "Is this really fair to your other children?"......I have even had several people deny us financial help because they just don't understand. They COULD help financially, they are able. But, it just isn't important. (Hang with me here, this isn't one of THOSE posts...it is really positive.)....So, just when I start thinking "REAALLY???" ....something always happens. A stranger will donate 2k to our page, a new friend will offer a $50 matching grant, our care group will organize a massive event in Leannas honor, my friend in TEXAS will sell her things online to send us money. Where some will completely ignore, others will embrace. Others will ask us questions, lots of questions....they CRAVE information on our Roma beauty! Granted, most of these people don't feel called to adopt, but they are called to love and to acknowledge these precious children of God. Trust me, I get it. Adoption is not for the faint of Heart. Its just not. You have to fight hard, and sometimes daily, for just one paper to get approved. Unless you have won the lottery, you have to pour hours, often hours each day, to organize fundraisers. You have to go hold, kiss, hug, and adore your child....a child that you will leave in a termite infested building that is under construction. You leave her knowing that she wont understand, and that her caretakers will not help her understand, they are too busy watching their soap operas. I will say it again, this stuff isn't easy. It hurts. you cry. You get completely exhausted.....but, you know what? At the end of the journey you have this amazing, beautiful, happy, daughter. A girl who speaks in slang, and who apparently has a bit of a mouth on her (PTL we don't speak Bulgarian!)....She is a gem, and she is worth it.....and she is just as important to God as any one of us. She isn't broke. She isn't a mistake. She is a perfect gift....she is our daughter.
So, with that said, I am going to go do a yard sale tomorrow (for the millionth time), Im going to keep planning fundraisers, Im going to decorate her room, and find her the special shirts that she likes... and I am going to put together the toys that we bought her. I am going to not be bitter over insensitive comments and actions, because I know that people just don't understand. And, you know what? When everyone meets Leanna, people will get it. Trust me.
Leanna Laurie....we are so close. Mommy is coming!
